WHAT TO FEED YOUR GUESTS?

It’s a slightly longer post and podcast this, but it’s probably one of the most important. Here’s some advice on what to feed your wedding guests on your big day for the main meal, or at least some musings from two decades of watching people eat, and the faces they make whilst doing so!

Disclaimer: venues have their own food and hygiene rules of course, and some of my advice may not align perfectly with the terms and conditions of your venue’s policy to mealtime/s, but it’s a well meaning guide with a small g, to what seems to work.

Chicken, chickpeas, or chaos: wedding banquet thoughts. Let me serve you up, full pun deliciously intended, some ideas of what you could serve your guests, or at least let me provide you with a menu, second pun intended, of how certain dishes go down on a wedding day.

So, you’re planning the big feast. The wedding banquet. The bit where your guests look longingly at the kitchen doors, pretending to listen to Great Aunt Sheila’s third retelling of how she once met Cliff Richard in Boots, while secretly hoping the food is going to be worth the wait.

Now, the good news is that food at weddings is, in my experience, pretty impressive. Long gone is chicken that bounces better than a Wimbledon set of new balls, an undercooked slice of salmon, and a tiny blob of something that might be sorbet, might be soap. Caterers today know their stuff, and I mean it when I say that they’re more Michelin star than microwave meal.

But still, you’ve got choices to make. And quite a few of them. The first, of course, being this: Do you play it safe, or do you take a risk?

And perhaps that’s where my guide may help. It won’t answer all your questions, but it will give you… you know this is coming now… food for thought.

CHICKEN.

Let’s start with chicken: The diplomat’s choice. This is the international peacekeeper of the wedding world. Chicken is like that friend who everyone gets along with. Reliable, unobtrusive, always says thank you, it doesn’t start arguments and it doesn’t arrive wearing sequins to someone else’s party. It just, turns up and gets eaten.

But, and there is a but. There’s always a but… it’s also a bit, well, expected. Chicken is the most chosen wedding main for a reason. It’s cost-effective, doesn’t offend many palates, and caterers know how to plate it in their sleep. But, and here’s another but, ask yourself: is it you?

Because while chicken might please most of your guests, the ones who think the special limited time option meals from a certain fast food outlet is gourmet food, if you and your partner regularly travel three towns across the county for your favourite Nepalese goat curry, is roast chiucken breast with seasonal veg really how you want to be remembered?

Duck, Beef, and the wild cards.

This is where the more adventurous dishes come in. Duck, for example, is rich, flavoursome, a bit fancy for some granted, but it feels like a treat. It says, “This is a celebration,” not “This is Tuesday night.” The same goes for slow-cooked beef cheek, venison with a red wine jus, or even a bold choice like black cod or a middle-eastern sharing feast.

Just remember: the fancier or more niche you go, the more you need a caterer who knows how to pull it off in volume, not just for two or four, but for one-hundred plus. And that duck? If it’s overdone, it’ll taste like a wedding flip-flop. Underdone, and you’re into the awkward dance of “Is this pink okay?”

So have a tasting. Ask the questions. Find a chef who cooks the way you like to eat.

PLANT-BASED.

What about the plant-based party? Now, on to vegans, vegetarians, gluten-free guests, coeliacs, pescatarians, the lactose avoiders and nut-free crowd. You love them, you’re inviting them, you want them to eat well too, so here’s the rule of thumb: don’t make them feel like an afterthought.

There is nothing more disheartening than watching everyone else tuck into their duck confit while you're handed a sad stack of roasted squash and a mushroom pretending to be a steak. Great wedding caterers know that plant-based and allergen-aware options can be just as exciting and well-plated as the main meal. Some couples even flip it on its head and make the vegan dish the star, perhaps the startER, and if you’ve never had beetroot wellington before, time to open your mind. Trust me, if done well, even your meat-eating Uncle Ernest whose brought his freshly sharpened personal steak knife will be looking over wondering if someone will leave enough for him to polish off their plate.

Fish.

This can be a tricky one. Because for some folk, “I eat fish,” is little more than “I once had posh-looking fish-finger sandwiches at the Tipsy Vicar.”

Fish can be a brilliant middle ground between the safe-and-sound world of chicken and the more adventurous territories of venison or duck. It's lighter, often beautifully presented, and tends to please both meat-eaters and pescatarians alike.

But like anything that once swam in our oceans with a tail and fins, it does come with a few decisions. Not everyone wants to wrestle with bones mid-wedding toast, and anything too ‘fishy’, you know the kind, can divide a room faster than a rogue microphone during the speeches.

And don’t get clever with lobster unless you know your guests know how to use the gear necessary to eat it, and appreciate how a bib is the only way to come out of the experience unscathed and still smelling like the person they were only half an hour earlier.

So, what’s the fish equivalent of chicken? That’ll be sea bass or salmon, depending on your style. Salmon’s the classic: pink, familiar, and forgiving in the kitchen. It holds up well, doesn’t scare anyone, and pairs nicely with creamy mash, seasonal veg, or a citrus drizzle.

Sea bass, on the other hand, is the posher cousin. It’s delicate, flaky, served skin-side up with something green and artistically swirled around the edge, now we’re talking!

Both are popular because they play it safe, and crucially, caterers can batch-cook them without drama. Just avoid anything too strong (mackerel, anchovy) or too complicated (whole fish with eyes still intact), unless you’re aiming for a dinner party, not a wedding. I like those Greek restaurants where you get to choose the fish you’re about to enjoy, (close your ears vegetarians,) but a fish that was still moving not long before you saw it appear poached, grilled or whatever, is the quickest way to alienate some friends who believe things from the sea swim in to a boat, ready-scaled, filleted, cleaned and dressed.

Oh and a quick word about sushi, I’ve seen it work as a starter, once, possibly twice in my entire wedding career, but most guests are in a state of confusion if served something that stands a microcosm of chance that it may just blink back at you as you go to pick it up.

THE OTHER STUFF.

Right, tastings. If you have a venue that has tastings, perfect. In 2006 our one didn’t, and we missed out on the one free meal being offered by the place. If you do go to one, go hungry, no sneaky McYou-Know-Whats on the way in. Take notes. And be honest. If you’re not a fan of the jus, say so. If the risotto feels like wallpaper paste, speak up. You are not there to be polite, you’re hiring a banquet for what is arguably the most talked-about meal you’ll ever host.

Also, remember this: your wedding meal doesn’t have to be a three-course affair. You could do sharing plates, grazing boards, or even a two-course main and pudding job if you’re having canapés earlier. There's no legal requirement for a starter. Honestly. I checked, although of course different venues will have different important policies.

RSVPs and Awkward Aunties, with reverence to great Aunties the world over. The RSVP card is the secret sauce of dietary diplomacy.

This is where you gently tease out the info you need without opening the gates to chaos.

Keep it simple. A tick-box for “I am vegetarian,” “I am vegan,” “I have a food allergy (please specify).” You can add a polite line like: “Please let us know of any serious allergies. We’ll do our best to accommodate.” Emphasis on serious. This helps stop people sending you full essays on how they once tried tofu in 2007 and found it emotionally upsetting.

Avoid the blank “Any dietary requirements?” line. It’s an invitation for people to tell you about their paleo journey or their deep fear of couscous. And don’t be afraid to set boundaries. It’s your day, not a food festival.

Serve What You Love. Here’s the real secret. You’re allowed to serve what you like. If you both love Thai food, have Thai. If you love pizza, get the wood-fired oven in. If your dream is fish and chips in newspaper cones followed by a Mr Whippy, I am absolutely here for it, again refer to your venue.

One of the most memorable weddings I ever photographed in terms of the nosh, was one in the middle of woodland, it had no sit-down meal at all. They had an all-day trickle of small plates from a trio of local food trucks, and guests just grazed, wandered, chatted, and kept going back for more. The vibe was so relaxed, nobody missed the formal starter, and as a completely unrequested aside, I came back a kilo heavier.

So, whether it’s duck in a cherry glaze, a tofu bao bun, or a perfectly cooked chicken with a white wine sauce and truffle mash, the key is this: make it yours. Feed people well, be kind to the dietary needs, and the rest? The rest they’ll remember with full hearts, and full stomachs. Can you see what I did there.

Good luck and keep calm, get married, and fed.