HOW TO KEEP CALM
Right, so, you’ve planned it, prepped it, Pinterest-boarded it, paid for it... and now it’s here: your wedding day. And despite all the spreadsheets, dress fittings, cake tastings, and highly detailed WhatsApp groups, you’re feeling... nervous. Like, properly jelly-legged, voice-wobbly, “why is my heart in my throat” kind of nervous. This episode has a few strategies for keeping calm on the big day.
It’s alright. You’re not weird. You’re just human. And today, we’re talking about how to deal with the wobbles because even the most chilled-out couples have a bit of a moment on the big day.
So, breathe. Let’s get into it.
You’re not on stage, you’re Getting Married…
Let’s just pop the pressure balloon right now. You’re not performing. There is no Oscar at the end of this. Nobody is judging your entrance like it’s Strictly Come Down the Aisle. This isn’t a performance. It’s a promise.
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t even have to be polished. You just have to be present.
I’ve seen grooms cry before the ceremony. I’ve seen brides laugh uncontrollably while walking in. I once saw a best man faint during the vows. No one remembers that as a disaster. They remember it as “the wedding where Dave went full Victorian lady.” People love honesty and emotion. So if you’re feeling it? Feel it.
Set your nerve traps early…
You know yourself best. If you’re likely to get jittery, set some traps for those nerves ahead of time. Not bear traps. Emotional ones. Here are a few good ones:
Write a letter to each other in the morning. Not something to post on socials – something personal. Read it when you’re alone, getting ready, before everything kicks off.
Pick your prep squad wisely. Avoid that friend who says, “Oh my god, are you shaking?” and stick with the one who calmly hands you a cup of tea and a toastie and says, “You’ve got this.”
Eat. Honestly, I can’t stress this enough. A banana, a bagel, something. Your adrenaline will be tap dancing through your system – don’t let it do that on an empty stomach.
Breathing is free, so do it!
If you remember nothing else today, remember this: breathe.
And not the shallow “I’m totally fine, I’m fine, I’m totally fine” kind of breathing. No. I mean a proper, intentional inhale through the nose, hold, and exhale through the mouth like you're cooling soup. Try four seconds in, hold for four, and six seconds out.
Do that a few times. It won’t make the ceremony start later or the in-laws arrive earlier – but it might just give you back control of the moment.
Permission to step away…
If it all gets a bit much, sneak off. Honestly, take your partner or go solo, walk out to a quiet spot, breathe, recalibrate.
You won’t miss anything that matters. And here’s the secret – those quiet minutes away often become the highlight. I’ve had couples say to me: “That five-minute breather was the moment we actually felt married.”
The day is for you. Own it.
Trust the team…
This is where your suppliers – yes, those mysterious beings with clipboards and cameras – come into their own.
If I’m your photographer, I’ve got your back. I know when to give space. I know when to say, “Take a beat.” And your planner, your celebrant, your venue staff? They’ve done this before. Loads of times. So if something tiny goes wrong – and something tiny probably will – they’ll absorb it. Your job? Smile and trust that someone else is dealing with it.
Embrace the feels…
Nerves are just adrenaline and love having a party in your bloodstream. It’s OK to feel them.
What you’re doing is beautiful, intimate, and actually quite brave. Standing in front of the people who matter most, and saying, “You’re my one.” That’s emotional. And it should be.
So don’t try to shut down the nerves. Ride them because they’re often the thing that makes you feel most alive on the day.
So whether you’re the one who cries at the first note of the string quartet, or the one who laughs nervously through the vows, it’s all part of the story.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just feeling it.
And that’s precisely how it should be.
